Thanks to D’s crazy pregnant lady cravings, it was decided we need to determine what local Seattle chain burger joint is tops. Today, D, Smells, KMJ, Whitney and I put it to the test.

The competitors: Red Mill, Kid Valley and BurgerMaster.

The challenge: Who has the best hamburger? (Since KMJ doesn’t eat beef, we also tested the Grilled Cheese.  And since we’re pigs, we tested the onion rings too.)

The best burger, hands down was from Red Mill. The bun was toasted, the condiments fresh and the special sauce didn’t taste like thousand island like it did at Kid Valley and BurgerMaster.

The best grilled cheese went to Kid Valley. Red Mill , although the cheese was tops with Tillamuck chedder,  used plain ‘ol wheat sliced bread. It didn’t work.  Kid Valley’s version was toasted evenly on sourdough with American cheese that oozed out, just like a good grilled cheese should.

And the rings. Red Mill was my fave, but the tasting committee went with Kid Valley. They didn’t like the extra spices on Red Mill’s rings (I did).

Red Mill took the overall top for combined food, price, ambience, etc. BurgerMaster is DISGUSTING inside and ironically enough, the most expensive.  I hope to never return…or maybe try the drive up one by my house where you don’t have to go into the establishment. 

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again.  Eat at Red Mill.

After coming home from Belize I was craving a big fat juicy burger. We remembered the hype of this new place in Ballard and decided to try it out for lunch on Monday.

Lunchbox Laboratory is a pretty small joint, but they have a BIG menu. There were about 10 pre-made burger selections but you can also “make your own” with a list of different meats, fancy cheeses and wacky toppings. We went with the pre-made choices. I had the “Burger of the Gods” and Kevi had “The Hawaiian.” Then we had to choose our side. The easy choice was sweet potato fries, but they were out. So we got the shoestring fries and chose the garlic topping (they also have a list of fry salts to choose).

Then, the hardest decision- shakes. Kevin knew he wanted the Heath Toffee Mocha but I couldn’t decide between the Nutella (uh duh, I really don’t know what I was thinking!), Chocolate Cherry or plain Chocolate. In my confusion, I confronted the hostess with my dilemma as I often do when I can’t decide between menu items – find out what their favorite is. They should have the best idea, right? Well, very rudely, she said “I don’t know what you feel like.” Ok, obviously I don’t even know what I feel like, that’s why I’m asking! Maybe tell me what customers favorites are then? Or the most popular? Anything? I think she already didn’t like me because I was bummed they didn’t have sweet potato fries. How dare me. Feeling her dead stare, I went with the Chocolate Cherry.

She rang us up and asked us if we wanted it here or to go. I didn’t want to sit in the restaurant with the mean lady, so we took it home. Then she told us our total. $33. $33, for two 1/4 lb burgers, one side of fries and two shakes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? For lunch?!

I already hated the place before we got home to taste the food. We ate though, enjoyed the burgers and the fries. The shakes were the best part and now I’m kicking myself for not getting the Nutella.

Was it good? Yes. Was it $33 good? That’s debatable. I would say if you like super fancy burgers, mean hostess ladies, a lunch so expensive you can’t afford dinner and so many decisions to make that your head hurts after ordering, then you should try the Lunchbox Laboratory. I will be sticking to my BBQ Burger and MC Hammer shake at Red Mill.